The Search for Evening Activities

When Adam and I first met, the immediate reaction I had was to his energy. As someone who has so much energy that I selected a business name with “Manic” in it, that’s a big deal. What we soon realized though was that our energies were very different, but that’s ok, we’re still more in sync with each other than we’ve been with people before, so we work with that. But sometimes it’s a bit trickier.

My energy is slow burning and long. Think marathon running. As much as you’d assume with the manic in the business name and all, that I have a crazed spiking energy, I don’t at all, but I also don’t crash. As long as I get enough sleep, I can work 16+ hour days for weeks and just go go go. Adam is more of a sprinter. We joke that he has the same energy make up as our rat terriers, he goes really hard, and then has to nap. The harder he goes, the more napping. Sometimes if he has been skate boarding, working and socializing for too many days in a row without down time, he can stay on the couch for days. Quietly watching movies, playing games and sleeping. Constant quiet time is his reset and really essential to his mental health. So quiet evenings are something I encourage he do often so he doesn’t get to the shut down phase of days and days of it.

You can therefore imagine that a typical evening if he worked days (being in hospitality, Adam’s schedule is all over the place, but recently has had him home most days by 6pm), would have him lying on the couch ready for a movie by 8pm or so. I on the other hand, am just getting home from kickboxing, starving and wanting nothing more than to grab a quick shower, eat and most nights head back into the studio. I do jewelry production at night and try to schedule these for when Adam closes or has plans, but even on non production nights, I enjoy being in there working after 8pm if I can. A couple of night week though, we want to actually hang out together. This is where our energy levels are the most conflicted.

Last year I decided that besides being on for background noise at night in the studio, I am over tv. I despise sitting on the couch in a dark room with a movie or show on. There are so many things I want to accomplish in my life and none of them will get done in front of the tv. So I refuse to watch it and if Adam wants to watch a movie, I go work in my studio. So the nights he wants to hang out with me, he thinks that sitting in the living room together watching a movie is ideal. He gets to lie on the couch, and I’m near him.

I do not at all want to do this though and argue that silently sitting on different couches is not really spending time together. But then we’re left figuring out what to do instead. We don’t have much time to spend together each day, so I like to do things where we get to talk to one another. With how my energy works, if I’m not working, I’d prefer to be out doing and/or seeing things. But Adam goes into sprint mode during the day and rarely wants to do anything out and about after 7pm. To compromise, I’ll usually read in the living room, while Adam plays video games or with his phone. But sometimes we both want an activity besides going out to dinner where we can talk and have fun.

Last night we once again were faced with this dilemma at 8 or 9 pm. It was the end of the day, we had about 2 hours left in us before we were ready to wind down, and Adam was actually raring to go. What are we supposed to do together during these hours? I thought about going to the trampoline park, but due to Adam and the way his energy works, if he gets would up that late, he has trouble sleeping, so I don’t think that is the solution. We ended up playing Scrabble, but need more options as there is only much scrabble I’m willing to play.

In the summer we go swimming or walk the dogs, but even these need to be done before 8 as they are more enjoyed by light. I keep racking my brain for things that do not involve food, alcohol, spending too much money and can be done between 8pm and 10pm. I’m pretty sure that most of my friends who have little kids are in the middle of the night time routine, but I’d love to hear the things you all do!

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I’d be happy if you’d DI-Try

DITry

When we moved into our new house, we inherited ceiling fans and lights that required reading a manual to operate them. Thank goodness for google as I have spent many nights in bed downloading and reading pdfs on operating these mysterious marvels. At first, I was so overwhelmed with unpacking and decorating that I tried to get Adam to handle it but I kid you not, he actually looked at me as we tried to figure out how to open one of them up to change a bulb, and suggested that we should call a professional. To change a lightbulb. I recalled the post I did about our tasks in our relationship and that I am in charge of these things and immediately fired him from the job.  So that is how I ended up reading manuals on lighting fixtures. You know, it’s a good thing I did, most of them are pretty fancy and were obviously picked out by someone who enjoys life made better by technology. The fans are all operated by buttons on the wall and have 6 speed settings and light dimmers involved. I doubt I would have figured that or the crazy different bulbs for each one without it and have enjoyed using them in full functioning glory.

It’s interesting owning a home with someone and seeing what they think they can do themselves. I grew up with a mom who was single through my teens and who was a beast with doing stuff herself and taught us all to be the same. We all had to climb down in the well and change fuses and could use all tools with ease. What’s really interesting is that my sister and I both married men who had dads who were crazy DIYers but neither of our husbands seem to think they are able to do anything without calling for help. When we first moved in, I balked that he made us hire a plumber to hook up the gas dryer, but I understand his fear with gas. We also had an electrician come and do a long list of things that involved drilling holes in walls and wiring that was overwhelming to us. Besides that though, I’m of camp DIY when you own a house, in less it would take me so long to do something that its cheaper to hire out than use my time. We’ve talked about this and Adam likes the idea of being a Mr. Fix it like his Dad was, so I have been giving him pep talks and telling him to find youtube videos to figure stuff out. I am proud to say that he has been fixing things outside and he’s been working on his own motorcycle and even built a box thing for skateboarding with this new confidence. All I’ve asked is that he at least DI-Try before he calls for help and it’s amazing what he can do!

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Time for Two

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We were talking to friends of ours with kids recently about date nights and we all joked that when you’re married without kids, its always date night. Unfortunately, it also means that you probably take it for granted. We of course enjoy the occasional, get dressed up and make a night of dinner out, but it happens as rarely for us as probably does people with kids. Much of the reason is due to Adam being in hospitality and my being self employed, so most nights we don’t see each other at all. It’s funny, I can always tell when it’s been too long since we’ve had a good dose of together time because Adam gets clingy and wants my attention constantly and I go the opposite route and retreat further into an island of one. To try and avoid this, on the nights we are home together we always eat at the dining room table, but it’s not a long meal and we’re both guilty of being on social media much of dinner as it’s rare downtime for both of us. We used to have these quick, under an hour dessert dates but once I gave up sugar, we were sort of at a loss about what should replace those mini dates. After we moved we came up with the idea to fit in an activity in the evening together. If it’s nice out and we’re both home, we go to the pool or walk the dogs. It’s actually better than eating together as we actually talk to each other without phones or food in the way and we are both happier when active. The days when the evenings are full are more the problem. If Adam is home, I’m working and not always able to just drop everything to hang out. We sometimes try to squeeze in a lunch, but it’s tough. I’m hoping that when the weather cools down (and it’s not raining, we seem to have one or the other this year!) we can fit in more day walks with the dogs. What do you do to spend one on one time with your significant other? We’re always on the lookout for fun things to do that do not involve eating, alcohol or kids where we can actually talk to each other. It’s harder than you think to find them!

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Do it now vs Do it later

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
You know what we do agree on? That the snozzberries taste like snozzberries!

Have you read Getting Things Done by David Allen? If you have then you’ll know that he is very into the concept of doing something now if it takes less than 2 minutes to do. I too am also very into this concept and live by it. Adam on the other hand thinks it’s ridiculous. Although this is no big deal in our relationship over all, this difference in productivity tends to make us both frustrated with each other. For example, I will fold the laundry before leaving the house which he thinks is crazy and gets in the way of his being 30 minutes early to everything (we sit in the car upon arrival a lot). On the flip side, his leaving things all over the house to put away later makes me insane, as it will take 10 seconds to put it away now and be done with it. I actually end up cleaning up after him most of the time for this reason. I’m hoping that as he now gets the logic of “the key place”, he’ll eventually come around.

Are you a do it now or do it later person? What about your spouse?

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Celebrating Sobriety

Photo Apr 04

Today we are celebrating that my husband, Adam, is 4 years sober. It’s amazing accomplishment and I am incredibly proud of him. Such a wonderful milestone and I couldn’t be prouder!

In the back of my mind, I have wondered if I should blog more about what it is like to be married to an addict in recovery. At first I instinctively pulled back as I was afraid I would jinx it. But as time has gone by, I understand the importance of sharing experiences with addiction and sobriety and making it something that can be talked about. In my own life, the first year of my relationship with my husband took a nightmare-ish turn and the result thankfully was sobriety that has continued through our marriage. I felt incredibly isolated and alone that year. A few months ago I started wondering about how many other women were feeling that same way. So I opened up and posted a bit about what it is like to be married to an addict on facebook and was contacted by so many women that I realized it was time to speak up in a more public way. Today is the first day I have done so, but this will be a topic I will be writing about more often as time goes on and I feel more comfortable doing so. If you are in this situation and need to talk, vent, share or cry, please reach to me at anytime. You can contact me through any of the black icons or email.

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Divide and Conquer – how do you decide who does what in a relationship?

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Earlier today I had to laugh when there was a situation involving restaurant reservation making. I found myself getting all annoyed at having to log onto open table (so hard, I know!). While I muttered under my breath about Adam asking me to do his job, I thought once again about why in our marriage, we have very specific tasks that we each take care of. These are based on both skill and preference, as I certainty am capable of making reservations, I just for some reason really don’t like to, which is similar to Adam with laundry. Do you have assigned roles in your relationship with your partner (as in the love kind, not the business kind)?

A few weeks after Adam and I eloped, we moved from my apartment into which he had sort of moved, but not really, into a house new to both of us. The changes of both our marital status and living situation brought up new issues, mostly being who was responsible for what. Every relationship is unique like a snowflake and in our unique partnership, we both work and chose to not have children. However, there immediately were a few issues that we had to iron out as it seemed hard to get away from the “traditional” roles in who does what. For example, as I work from a studio in my home, it was assumed on Adam’s part that I would therefore do all of the “house keeping” chores. This did not sit well with me. Even with the help of someone who came in and cleaned every other week, there was still a good deal of upkeep that I did not have time to be doing while my work day was going on. Things like this has to be figured out over time and caused a good deal of yelling until we figured out a realistic plan of who does what. We also realized some interesting things such as having a cleaning person being in our house for 6 hours every Saturday was more annoying than sharing that work and doing it ourselves in a quarter of the time. As time went on, we started to divide tasks more and more, and sometimes sub divided (cleaning the house) tasks until we reached a point where we were pretty happy.

At the moment this is how we divide everything:

Sierra:
Cooking
Kitchen Cleanliness
Laundry
Grocery Shopping and Household Basics (for clothes for either of us, we actually go together which is both so dorky and sweet)
Schedules (for both of us, including travel)
Finances (if it involves money, it goes through me)
Dog Care (I organize it all and Adam does what I ask to help, which ends up being a bit less then half)
Personal Car Maintenance
Decorating
Dusting
Electronics/Technology (fixing, plugging in, trouble shooting, Adam just pushes it all towards me)
Anything involving wood, paint or floors
Keeping every single thing in the house/garage organized and in it’s place at all times (which oddly is not something that seems task like to me, its really more like breathing)

Adam:
Vacuuming
Cleaning Bathrooms
Washing Cars/Motorcycle
Personal Car/Motorcycle Maintenance (the motorcycle part could be a full time job)
Lawn Care
Gardening
Outdoor Holiday Decor (it’s a very big deal to him)
Plumbing (mild situations, we call for help if it’s possible he could make it worse, not better)
Anything involving the outside of the house
Garbage and Recycling Duty
Washes dishes after meals we eat together (for some reason we never use the dishwasher)
Communications (this one is HUGE. It’s equal in size to my handling our finances. It covers talking to any and all house related people such as repairs, lawn guys, if the internet goes out (unless I’m home alone) and people, making all dinner reservations, getting to know and being nice to the neighbors, making sure we are in touch with friends and family and on and on.)

It’s a pretty good divide and we seem to be doing well with this split. I wonder how much the assignment of chores has changed in the past few decades. Even though through history, besides for a few short decades in the US around the 1950’s, the majority of women have also worked, yet the bulk of the child care and house keeping used to fall mostly on them. Has this finally changed over time? Oddly we are also one of the few countries who does not have help in the home in the form of a cook and or house keeper regardless of class. The distribution of household tasks has always been a subject that fascinated me!

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Deep thoughts about the color pink

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There’s always a lot of talk about pink in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day. To wear or not to wear comes up first and then bigger questions arise about the color in general. But really you may wonder, isn’t it just a color? Apparently not.

1. All pinks are not created equal. As Samantha in SATC once explained, hot pink is sexy, baby pink is not. Really, the name itself should be a tip off on that one.

2. I kid you not, while I was typing #1, an email from Pantone landed in my inbox with this subject: “New Color Intelligence Article: Pink – Tempering Passion with Purity”. This has become an oddly big topic.

3. I was not into pink until my 20’s and then I went a bit crazy for it…Manic Trout used to have a hot pink logo and my closet was filled with pink frocks in multiple hues. I realized a few weeks ago that I seem to evolved to red and most of the pink is now gone. Is this a normal progression with age and career growth? I read a quote recently that I loved that makes me think it does. Said by a female CFO: “I had to earn the right to wear red.”

4. One of my role models, Italian fashion designer Elsa Schiaparelli, invented shocking pink in 1931, by mixing a little white with magenta. This was a new and more assertive pink and it became her signature color. Currently one of the best selling (and my favorite) lipsticks from Nars is named after her as well, Schiap.

5. Scientifically, the color pink does not exist. “Violet (at one end of the visible spectrum), is the fastest, while red (at the other end) takes its sweet time. The other colors in the spectrum, moving at their particular frequencies, are indigo, blue, green, yellow and orange. The color pink, not a part of this spectrum, does not have a particular frequency.”

6. Diana Vreeland once famously said that “pink is the navy blue of India.” This quote has stuck in my head so permanently that every time any one talks about the country, I utter it.

7. There is a plethora of articles written about if it’s ok to wear pink to work. The consensus seems to be that the more corporate your office, the less pink you should wear. And if you do work in a creative environment, keep the pink to an accent, never ever go head to toe. Also avoid doing that with yellow and orange btw, just in case you thought all the hate was for pink.

8. BUT…Pink is one of the adult world’s most hated colors. That is sad.

9. After one eats beets, their pee often turns pink. It scares me to death every time it happens until I remember what I ate and then I just enjoy having bright pink pee for a day.

10. Gender specific colors did not arise until the early 20th century. Interestingly, when it did just before the 1920’s, many guides deemed pink for boys and blue for girls. “The reason is that pink , being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.” For some reason, in the 1940’s this all changed when clothing manufacturers began producing pink clothes for girls and blue for boys. This somehow stuck and gained considerable momentum and popularity over time until the 1960’s and 1970’s when the women’s lib movement brought a push for gender neutral clothes.

Lastly, if all this talk about pink made you want to instantly adorn yourself in pink jewelry, I can help you with that.

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Dueling Schedules

Adam & Sierra
A rare evening when neither one of us is working.

Being self employed and having my studio at home makes it so I can have a pretty flexible schedule, however the flexibility factor has been being put to the test recently and everything is failing. You see, Adam now has a schedule that is typical to restaurant management and is all over the place. Neither of us are functioning very well with it. It took Adam a month to be able to do anything besides sleep in the hours that he’s not at work and by trying to go along with when his routine, I was loosing my mind. You see, I love a good schedule. It helps keep my head clear and the blues away. Adam also like a good schedule, but he has no choice…I however do. Somedays he has to be at work at 7am, some days 4pm and some days in between. Some night he gets home as late as 3am. When he gets home, the dogs go crazy and jump on my head and bark and as Adam is all amped up from work, he adds to the chaos and I wake up and can’t go back to sleep. Being a night owl anyway, the obvious choice was for me to work until 1 or 2am, so I’m up when he gets home. The problem is that on the days his schedule is the opposite of this, we don’t see each other as he goes to bed by 11pm and I am still wide awake. Honestly, it’s better than when I was trying to mimic his schedule, as Adam loves naps, he was making up for lost sleep, I was however just working through the longer days and exhausting myself. Mimicing his crazy schedule is not the answer. So what we’re doing seems to be the best option at the moment for us though. It’s just hard to get used to.

Do you have the opposite schedule as your spouse? How do you deal with it? Any tips for making sure you still get in a bit of face time each day?

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Baby, You Can Drive My Car

Out for a drive together this summer…just a random semi relevant photo
Out for a drive together this summer…just a random semi relevant photo

Hello everyone, Adam here. Car shopping is usually a fun thing for everyone, right? I enjoy it. I love cars!! I take my time car shopping, I like to do my homework. Sierra and I set a price point that we thought was fair and good for our budget. I shopped online and asked around which dealers people like in Austin. I knew all along I would get a VW and my brother suggested we go to the dealer north of Austin in Round Rock. I started checking the dealers inventory online and deciding which car I wanted. So many pretty cars, such difficult choices. I really wanted to get a GTI but used GTI’s seem to be few and far between. Sierra also suggested that I may eventually get frustrated with the size of a GTI. I golf and we didn’t even think my clubs would fit inside such a little car. I ended up finding a bunch of really nice Jetta’s with reasonably low mileage. Obviously when they day came to go to the dealer Sierra accompanied me. Thank goodness too. Sierra is my voice of reason, without her, bad things would happen. Arriving at the dealer, immediately I start drooling over all the cars. These people sure do know what they are doing. So many badass cars just enticing me all over. When the salesman started our tour he quickly took me to cars out of our budget. I thought Sierra was gonna lose it. She stayed composed and walked away for a moment. I wouldn’t say I quickly put the salesman in his place and stuck to the plan but I eventually said something and got us back on track with the plan Sierra and I had set in place. We toured many different lots and finally the last car we looked at was the one that was meant for me. 2012 VW Jetta and it was a stick. I love manual vehicles. You can’t pretend you are a race car driver or actually be one in an automatic. Before entering negotiations I pulled Sierra aside and let her know that she was gonna have to be the muscle in this particular situation because I am pretty much every salesmans dream customer. They sat us down right in front of the most awesome cars in the joint and I kept nudging Sierra and would be like lets just get that car its amazing. Of course these cars were way out of budget but I didn’t care. So now Sierra is negotiating with me and the salesman. I have to admit I have never bought a car from a dealer, I have purchased all my cars via Craigslist and I am good at negotiating with common folk. I had no idea what I was doing, if it weren’t for Sierra I would have left the dealer with the most expensive car on the lot and gotten a terrible trade in value on my car. Sierra didn’t take any bullshit and she negotiated a sweet deal. So as much as I want to be the stereotypical man in a situation like this, I am not. Sierra is the shark with the money situations and thank goodness for that. I got to drive away in a hot new car and Sierra put some extra money in our pockets on top of that. Watch out salesmen you are no match for my wife, she will out beast you all any day!!

~

Hey there, Sierra here. So as Adam shared with you, it was recently time for him to buy a new car. He had been talking about it for months. We had discussed an amount he wanted to spend and had a plan. The plan was basically that he would buy a newer version of the car he loved when we met, which he regretfully sold a couple of years ago. Since the day he sold it, Adam has talked about how much he wished he didn’t. It was nothing crazy, a 5 speed VW Jetta that made him feel like a race car driver and yet not be something he’d get himself arrested or hurt in. Every time he would start to think he wanted something else, we agreed that I was to remind how much he has missed and talked about the Jetta he sold. For months he obsessed over listings, you name the source, he checked it daily. Finally he decided on a dealership and made a plan to go. My presence was requested…I tried to get out of it, but he said I needed to be there. I realized why the second we arrived. Adam had already been talking to one of sales guys for a few weeks, as I said, he was obsessed and had already told him the prices range and what he was looking for. However, when we arrived Adams ADD kicked into high gear and he was led off in the direction of not only the 2015 cars, but the most expensive ones on the lot. I decided that he could handle it and called my sister to talk me down from taking over the whole thing. Which helped until I saw that he was about to test drive a car about 3 x’s what he had wanted to spend. In the 5 minutes I had been on the phone he went from wanting his dream car to looking at the high end SUV’s. Luckily my arrival into the conversation prompted Adam to remember what he was looking for in the first place and we got back on track. Finally after about an hour of driving around the lots in a golf cart searching for the holy grail, we found it…and it was like the heavens opens and the angels began singing when he saw it. His dream car was found at last. We headed back to the office where again, I figured I would let Adam take control, but um…no. A piece of paper was presented with the trade in offer for his car and the sale price of the Jetta and Adam took it and said…”oh that looks great, thank you!!”. Seriously, I was almost too in shock to butt in, but hehe, we all know that wasn’t going to stop me. I physically threw my arm across Adam to block him and jumped forward to take over and actually negotiate. I’ll chalk it up to my having bought cars from dealerships before as having had experience trading in. We’ll just leave it at that. And to let you have peace in mind in knowing that we not only knocked a few thousand off the price and declined on all unnecessary add on costs, but that Adam’s dream car is now happily parked in our garage.

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A Place For Everything and Everything In It’s Place

Celebrating our two year anniversary (in a very dim restaurant)
Celebrating our two year anniversary (in a very dim restaurant)

Hey everyone, Adam here!! This week lets talk about “how to train your husband?”. I don’t know the answer to that but I can tell you my wife sure does. You may say to yourself “how do you know that Adam?”. In which I would say, because somehow she trained the shit out of me without me even knowing. Seriously though isn’t that how marriage works? Men are a mess when they meet the future Mrs but luckily the future Mrs sees something in said man. She says to herself, I can work with this, hahahaha.Let’s get into some key factors of my training. When Sierra first met me, I kept all my clothes in a pile in my room, my bed was a mattress on the ground and I maybe owned a TV, the bed and my clothes. I actually think my last TV was left at my rental by my landlord so really I didn’t own it I just used it. So I owned clothes and a bed, which insured moving was easy for me. I definitely liked to skip showers and was living a much faster lifestyle. Sierra started out slow with her wifely trickery. She set a bowl next to the door and told me that is where we keep keys. Keys to the house, keys to the car and any other key we use. I was introduced to the key bowl. Very sneaky this key bowl and guess what? I used it!! I was amazed I always knew where my keys were. What kind of sorcery was this key bowl.

Then Sierra set limitations on me sprawling clothes all over the bedroom, she gave me a designated spot I could sprawl a limited amount of clothing in the bedroom. This satisfied me, made me think I was winning but truthfully just being trained, sneaky trained! Next she made me shower 6 out of 7 days, I’m allowed to skip on my day off. Some of you may being saying “eww, gross Adam” but I don’t care, showers are boring. I grew up in the mountains where we would go camping for weeks at a time, stop being a pansy people. I’m gonna skip a lot of the training and jump pretty far ahead. Sierra and I have been married for 2 years now. Many things have taken place at home that I apparently hadn’t recognized within my training. I have been out of town doing on site training for a new job (which btw, I’m pretty sure was also part of my wife’s training of me). This is what opened my eyes to the training that has taken place.

I left Austin early one Saturday morning, hopped a plane to Miami to begin my new journey. Nothing unusual right? I disembark the plane grab my bags and head to the hotel. This is when it all came to fruition. I walk into my room un pack my bags, place all clothing in its place. I fill the chest of drawers, I hang things in the closet. I place all my shoes in the closet. Not only did I unpack, but everything in the drawers is organized. It’s not all the clothes thrown in one drawer, they are placed in separate drawers, in their proper categories. Underwear and socks, pants and shorts, and t-shirts all in separate drawers folded nicely. I placed my toiletries in the bathroom, pulled them from my toiletry bag and arranged them neatly on the counter. After all this happens I sit outside on the balcony and I call my wife. Sierra answers and I say “you will never guess what I just did?”. She just laughed and of course said “I’ve trained you well!”. You sure have lady, you sure have.

~

Hey there, Sierra here…and let me start off by saying that as much as the “training of Adam” snuck up on him, it snuck up me as well. I didn’t even realize anything was sinking in until he called me from Miami all proud of himself. When he’s home, it’s like a mini tornado rips though the house. He walks in the door, drops his pants off on the chair by the kitchen door (I still have no idea why this happens, can someone explain this to me?) and leaves a trail behind him of wallet, lighter, contents of his pockets and anything else he had on him when he walked in the door. I just pick it up as I walk around the house and put it all away, thinking nothing of it. I had no idea that left to his own devices he would pick up after himself, and less of a clue that he would be orderly about it as he seems to resist the extreme organized aspect of our home.

Well, except for the key spot. The key spot was a life changing situation for Adam. He still marvels over always knowing where his keys are. I told my dad about this on the phone one day and his reply was, “well thats just good sense”…hmmm, its pretty obvious that the sneaky training skills were passed down. These skills are so sneaky that I didn’t even realize I was doing it! When we moved in together after Adam proposed, it was a bit of a struggle at first. This was partly because he moved into my apartment and partly because I used words like “key spot” and he considered a pile on the floor as adequate storage. There were many arguments over piles. As Adam did not bring much to the relationship in terms of material possessions, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. However it was difficult for him to accept that he had to open a door or a drawer to see or use something he needed. I asked Adam once why he didn’t own anything besides a bed and clothing when we met. His answer was that he knew that when he met the woman he was meant to marry, that she would make him throw out all his guy stuff anyway, so what was the point of having it. Valid point.

Two years in, its pretty great that by now he just lets me put things where I feel they are meant to be. I use logic to determine where everything will go and Adam knows that if he asks where anything in the house is, I will tell him its exact location in seconds. Sometimes it drives him crazy that I cannot and will not go to bed until everything in the house is back in its place and he still has his piles. We do our best to compromise though, he keeps the piles to designated areas that I glare at every time I walk by it and I let him keep the remotes on the living room table and his couch blanket disorderly. Apparently though my extreme need to have everything organized and in its place is rubbing off on him. Maybe he’s just realized that life is too short to spend it looking for your keys and more importantly, that you never have to if there’s a key spot. Or maybe he’s learned that being organized is really just good sense.

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