Having lived the life of an over achieving, type A, grab the bull by the horns, pack leader I started to think today if life would be easier/better/less stress filled if I was more of a back seat participant in life. Don’t get me wrong, I know there is not a chance in hell that I can change the way I am, but sometimes on those days when I feel as though I am failing at everything I do, I wonder if I would be happier otherwise. Would I be happier to not run my own show? To just show up to a job everyday instead of living my job every moment of my day? This little pity party usual lasts about 5 minutes as I realize how much I love my work…and that my happiest moments have been mostly work related, and 99% of those moments have been from running my own business. Ok, so I guess I have also lived life as a major dork, but eh what can you do.
In the midst of my freaking out I jumped in my car to run an errand and ended up at my moms house. I didn’t talk about my bad day, or my stress level, and I actually just realized I left without a hug (how did that happen??). I just babbled on for with mom, chatted with my sister, step father and family friend who had all wandered into the kitchen then picked some basil and drove home.
By the time I walked in my door I felt a bit back to my normal self…perhaps it was being with family, perhaps it was literally being in the drivers seat for an hour…whatever the case I felt better. I also realized that no matter what I hold tightly to my keys and even though I will often share the driving, I have never seen the view from my own back seat.