The Search for Evening Activities

When Adam and I first met, the immediate reaction I had was to his energy. As someone who has so much energy that I selected a business name with “Manic” in it, that’s a big deal. What we soon realized though was that our energies were very different, but that’s ok, we’re still more in sync with each other than we’ve been with people before, so we work with that. But sometimes it’s a bit trickier.

My energy is slow burning and long. Think marathon running. As much as you’d assume with the manic in the business name and all, that I have a crazed spiking energy, I don’t at all, but I also don’t crash. As long as I get enough sleep, I can work 16+ hour days for weeks and just go go go. Adam is more of a sprinter. We joke that he has the same energy make up as our rat terriers, he goes really hard, and then has to nap. The harder he goes, the more napping. Sometimes if he has been skate boarding, working and socializing for too many days in a row without down time, he can stay on the couch for days. Quietly watching movies, playing games and sleeping. Constant quiet time is his reset and really essential to his mental health. So quiet evenings are something I encourage he do often so he doesn’t get to the shut down phase of days and days of it.

You can therefore imagine that a typical evening if he worked days (being in hospitality, Adam’s schedule is all over the place, but recently has had him home most days by 6pm), would have him lying on the couch ready for a movie by 8pm or so. I on the other hand, am just getting home from kickboxing, starving and wanting nothing more than to grab a quick shower, eat and most nights head back into the studio. I do jewelry production at night and try to schedule these for when Adam closes or has plans, but even on non production nights, I enjoy being in there working after 8pm if I can. A couple of night week though, we want to actually hang out together. This is where our energy levels are the most conflicted.

Last year I decided that besides being on for background noise at night in the studio, I am over tv. I despise sitting on the couch in a dark room with a movie or show on. There are so many things I want to accomplish in my life and none of them will get done in front of the tv. So I refuse to watch it and if Adam wants to watch a movie, I go work in my studio. So the nights he wants to hang out with me, he thinks that sitting in the living room together watching a movie is ideal. He gets to lie on the couch, and I’m near him.

I do not at all want to do this though and argue that silently sitting on different couches is not really spending time together. But then we’re left figuring out what to do instead. We don’t have much time to spend together each day, so I like to do things where we get to talk to one another. With how my energy works, if I’m not working, I’d prefer to be out doing and/or seeing things. But Adam goes into sprint mode during the day and rarely wants to do anything out and about after 7pm. To compromise, I’ll usually read in the living room, while Adam plays video games or with his phone. But sometimes we both want an activity besides going out to dinner where we can talk and have fun.

Last night we once again were faced with this dilemma at 8 or 9 pm. It was the end of the day, we had about 2 hours left in us before we were ready to wind down, and Adam was actually raring to go. What are we supposed to do together during these hours? I thought about going to the trampoline park, but due to Adam and the way his energy works, if he gets would up that late, he has trouble sleeping, so I don’t think that is the solution. We ended up playing Scrabble, but need more options as there is only much scrabble I’m willing to play.

In the summer we go swimming or walk the dogs, but even these need to be done before 8 as they are more enjoyed by light. I keep racking my brain for things that do not involve food, alcohol, spending too much money and can be done between 8pm and 10pm. I’m pretty sure that most of my friends who have little kids are in the middle of the night time routine, but I’d love to hear the things you all do!

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A sentimentalist dines out

The spot we first met, 18 months later minutes before we got married.
The spot we first met, 18 months later and minutes before we got married.

Recently, I have been eating out less and less. Mainly due to most of the “great” local restaurants not taking reservations and having a 2 hour wait. It’s beyond annoying to wait that long on a Tuesday for dinner. We however, still find ourselves dining out about once a week and tend to gravitate towards those places with the most sentimental value. Do you do that with restaurants? You know how when you hear a certain song, it takes you back to a specific time or feeling or person? Well, I do that with restaurants too. There’s the place we first met…which became the place we “wedding bombed”. We showed up for dinner and quietly were pronounced at our table of 5 between the entree and dessert. There’s the place we had our first date…which became the place Adam proposed. The place that catered my fashion week event last year and the place I would get coffee and breakfast tacos when I used to set up Manic Trout on South Congress. New places are added to the list all the time…the place I hired my current assistant has only held that title for a few months now. Some I never even eat at anymore…like the place we got married. I’m not in love with the food, but every time we drive by it, I announce why it’s special to me. I actually recite wistfully what sentimental power is held by a restaurant every time I eat there, see it or think of it. Some people like to think back only on all of the delicious food they enjoyed in a place, but I find myself remembering just as fondly, all of the wonderful people, conversations and mile stones that happened while we were there more than the food.

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Love Letters

love letters
Our time apart measured by envelopes

When I moved to Texas last summer, I did more than a normal pre-moving clean. I basically preformed a possession overhaul as I was on a pretty tight space budget. Even though I enjoy getting rid of stuff, I still manage to accumulate so much excess! I blame it on being an artist. So much inspires me that I feel that I have to keep it around. Fortunately, as I get older I am loosing that need and am learning to not accumulate so much to begin with and to not hold on to too much stuff for pseudo sentimental reasons.

One of the items I let go was a box of love letters. I had a shoe box tied with string of all of the love letters and little endearing notes from boyfriends as far back as the 10th grade to all the way up past my ex husband to within the last few years. I have always kept it stashed away, transporting it from the back of one closet to the next with each move. This time while packing I decided to open it up and sort through it…kind of like visiting a time capsule of past loves. It was beautiful and sweet to read all of the sentiments but at the same time I knew that I never wanted to read through those letters again. Some things should remain in your memories and to read the powerful and passionate emotions from as long as 18 years ago from boys who have grown into men you no longer know anything about was kind of…creepy? Perhaps if we were still together and in love than it would be a wonderful trip down memory lane, but this just felt kind of weird. So into trash they went.

Looking through that box did make me nostalgic for the time before email though, when in order to communicate you had to use a land line. In boarding school, the dorms had one pay phone and if it rang and no one was around, you had no idea you had missed a call, you also had to wait in line at night to use it and sometime ran out of time. This meant that we sort of had no choice but to write letters, it was truly the most reliable of form of communication throughout those 4 years. As much as I enjoy the instant gratification of cell phones, I find myself missing the anticipation that used to come with checking the mail.

Which brings me to a few months ago…when Adam and I began another stint of living apart, this time for close to 6 months. As we began our relationship this way, it’s not so bad…we see each other more often during this stretch than we did living apart last year. I’ve also been realizing that this arrangement is not that uncommon due to couples dealing with work or grad school opportunities, and it’s nice to know that we’re not alone. In discussing how we would deal with this situation, we decided that during this time apart that we would write letters to each other to keep the romance alive. Side note: It’s interesting how differently we approach our letters, although I won’t go into that now as I realized while writing this that it would make a fantastic She Says He Says post. We’ve almost reached the half way mark and one aspect certainly stands out, our letters have expressed the love, respect and support we have one another on a much deeper level than we have ever shared through conversation alone.

My point here is that letter writing and especially love letters, is an incredibly romantic gesture that should not be lost to the digital age. The phone calls, texts and even time together don’t usually result in your sitting quietly while pondering how much or why you love someone. You are not only forced to sit down and put your emotions into words, but as weeks go by and the stack of letters increases, your ability to eloquently do so increases as well. Sure we both have tired and uninspired nights where all we can do is recount our day (or not write all…ahem, Adam), but more often than not we end up sharing thoughts or feelings which we would never get around to if we were next to one another day after day. When we spoke on the phone last night, Adam was almost more excited for me to receive the gushing love letter* he wrote to me a few nights ago than he was about seeing me on Sunday.

I’m sure when we are back to living under the same roof that our letters will quickly recede into the past and spend the rest of their days in a shoe box in the back of the closet. But for now, we each keep the growing stacks of envelopes by our beds and catch our breath when we see a new envelope in the mailbox.

 

* It arrived this morning and it’s beautiful. Between the two of us, I’ve noticed that I write with more intensity whereas Adam has begun to achieve an incredible level of poetry in his letters, I cherish them so.

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Nerd Love

ScienceLoveAbso-freaking-lutly adorable.  I realize more and more with every passing year what a nerd I am.  Little sentiments such as this one tickle my nerdish fancy even though my life has not an iota of science in it.  But still.

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Daily dose of inspiration: Love

SilverMylarLoveI was a very lucky kid growing up in that my mom celebrated all holidays with extreme enthusiasm, including half birthdays.  Btw, I realized this year that no one else celebrated half birthdays.  When Adam and I set the date for the wedding we were back and forth between two dates, but the one we settled on and kept coming back happens to be my half birthday.  When I share this fun little fact with anyone, I just get a confused stare.  Sad for them, because half birthday rock.

Anyway…I had to smile this morning when I woke to both facebook and text messages from my mom wishing me a Happy Valentines Day and lots of love and it made me smile and reminded me that to me Valentines Day was never about showing one special person that you love them, but rather a day about celebrating love…or candy hearts…but whatever, I have a weird fixation on holiday specific candy.  Well, and about making cards, but I just realized that when I moved, I did not bring my glitter and how the heck am I supposed to make a Valentines Day card without glitter???

Anyway…I have more thoughts on the subject, but this week Adam and I are posting on She Says He Says today rather than Monday in honor of Valentines Day, and I don’t want to step on my own toes.  So I’m signing off to go search for candy hearts, which I love, but only the Sweethearts Conversation Hearts…not the knock off brands.  Also not a fan of chocolate…ok this is becoming about candy, time to go…but wait…Happy Valentines Day!

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Two Super Heros are let loose on 6th Street

The costumes were a hit! We had a great time and it was INSANE on 6th street.  I thought as it was Monday it would be quieter then the weekend, but WOW.  The streets were packed, and it was fantastic eye candy!  We were asked to join in many photos, and I even managed to get one snapped myself.

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Ready to save the world!
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Spidey's getting frisky!
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Spiderman is ready for action!
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He even planks in costume
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Just a bunch of Super Heros on 6th Street
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Look, there's 2!!!
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Tati was the best Prince EVER and finished the night on the Jackalope!

How was your Halloween?

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Birds do it, bees do it…

BirdHeart
But should I blog about love?  This is a dilema that I have been trying to work out recently as you may have noticed the sudden appearance of a handsome guy in a few of my blog posts…if you’re really paying attention you would have picked up my mentioning him by name from time to time over the past few months.  I never know how much to include the men in my life here in the blog.  A few names have appeared here and there, but I haven’t really ever included them much in the blog.

I however wonder if I should share more with you wonderful readers, as the blogs I love the dearest are those which do just that.  I will always remember the scene in the Howard Stern movie where he tells his wife that he feels its really important to share his life with his listeners, to let them in on all the intimate moments, as it will make them feel more connected to him…and well, I get that and feel pretty much the same way about blogging.

I am very soon leaving an area where I am in constant contact with many people who I most likely will not talk to much once I am not in Millbrook, but who tell me that they love keeping up with me on facebook and can’t wait to see what I will be doing.  It made me realize that I do have people interested in getting a little deeper into the life of Sierra, so I figure, why the heck not?

I also have a little project up my sleeve which will involve that handsome face you keep seeing…a collaborative blog if you will, which I promise I will tell you more about as I know it.

So what are your thoughts?  Do you want me to write a little deeper?

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Do you think the movie Secretary is a great love story?

The other day I was having a conversation with Adam about great love stories…and about the best having to do with acceptance of a persons past and being drawn to each other.  Well not just drawn to each other, but realizing when a person is your other half…the perfect fit…that they get you more than anyone else.   A person who not only accepts your quirks, but embraces them…and who even if pushed away, will fight for you.

I hardly had to pause before declaring that Secretary fits that perfectly and I in fact took it one step further…I think Secretary is the best love story ever made.  The reaction I received however was more amazement that of all the movies out there, that this is what I consider a great love story…so I am taking it you my dear friends and asking you to weigh in.

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My defense: You have two people who are perfect for each other…and they had no idea until they met what that even meant.  They are so perfect for each that they become the best versions of themselves in each other presence…even if they are a little twisted.  Secretary illustrates that true love is not about normalcy, its about loving one another even more for the oddness and the off kilter aspects of one another.  You then bring into play the devotion and loyalty aspect, the tenderness and then toss in the kink, why its a modern day fairy tale!

So have you seen Secretary?  Do you agree or disagree with me on this, and if you disagree…what’s your favorite love story, I would love to hear!

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