The skinny dress
Last fall, I was not feeling or looking my best and decided to make a change. Although I ate really healthy (including eating all of my daily fruits and veggies) and exercised, it no longer was enough to maintain and my weight had crept up. At the same time, my good friend Luke was changing careers to make his love fitness a full time job. I worked with him for a month from September to October and I learned that I could push myself much harder without dying and that as I have been aging, that I needed to add more cardio. Besides fitness, we were chatting about food one day and he thought I should check out macros and learn about the importance of tracking them if you work out hard, I was intrigued. After our month together, I was motivated, excited and on the right path. Then some health issue came up and I turned to candy to deal with the stress of it. In mid December, after a visit to the dr and finally figuring out the problem (Adenomyosis) and working towards a temporary treatment and planning an eventual cure, I realized how much I had been stress eating (mostly jelly belly jelly beans). I had ballooned up fast in the short span of a month, could hardly fit into my clothes and felt miserable.
First things first, I, as you may know, stopped eating sugar immediatly after the dr’s office visit. All sugar, no cheat days, none in my coffee, zero, zip, nada. I started dropping the extra weight I had put on in the last month really fast from that alone but then decided to get back to my fighting weight. To the weight I had been for most of my adult life, and what almost all of you know me at, so nothing drastic, however it still felt overwhelming. But I dug my heels in and got to work. I upped my workouts applying what I learned from Luke. I alternated longer run days with days where I would do a warm up run and then a video, each week both of these runs became longer and faster. On my two days off a week, I still walked at least 3-4 miles. I bought a fitbit Zip that I keep it in my bra and I started tracking calories and macros to see where the issues were. (Turns out I love tracking food, its like a daily puzzle I have to solve and works really, really well for me.) I had been against scales for a few years and relied solely on how clothes fit, but I knew that I’d need more than that to do this, so I immediatly went out and bought both a food scale and body scale. I was on a mission to not let my uterus (which during an ultrasound was discovered to be 4 times the normal size) with its enlarged size and bloating tendencies dictate how I looked and felt. I would not let my stupid uterus have any more control.
I set a weight goal, but really my goals were the dresses hanging in my closet. (I mean really, what women doesn’t keep clothing for this purpose in her closet?) There were a few specific dresses that each represented a bench mark I wanted to get back to. Over the last few months, as my clothes began fitting normally again and I found myself able to comfortable fit back in most pieces, there were three dresses in particular that were standing out as the ones I was striving for. I have been trying them on along the way to see where I am, and had been frustrated at what seemed like so little progress with them. This morning though, I was feeling good. Last night, Adam told me that any pro athlete would be proud of the training I’ve been doing, and that felt really good to hear! So I was still riding on that when I woke up today and decided to weigh myself (I only do this randomly every few days or sometimes even every week or so), and discovered that I have officially lost 30 lbs since December! Exciting, but you know, just a number.
So I went for the ultimate test, I had shied away from trying on the dreaded dresses for a few weeks as that last time when I tried on the dress from the day we eloped, there was a lot of extra over hang on top, (upper body muffin top, if you will), I couldn’t zip up a dress I wore when I came to visit Austin 5 years ago and I wasn’t even ready to go near THE DRESS…the smallest and least forgiving of any dress I have ever worn that is raw silk, cut on the bias and tight on the hips and makes me terrified to even consider trying. But today, 2 days shy of a vacation in the Bahamas and 2 weeks before the birthday goal date I was aiming for, I was feeling good. I yelled for Adam to grab the wedding dress from the closet (this took two tries by the way, how do men not pay attention to what you wear??). I think he was more nervous than I was as he didn’t want to see me so disappointed again. It zipped with no problem. There was not a peek of upper muffin top, it may have been a little roomy. We both looked at each with a kind of awe. Then Adam got bored and wandered off. But I immediately grabbed the second, and it zipped right up too! So feeling brazen, I want for the last dress…and OMG, it fit!! There was cheering, maybe some weird version of twerking and lots and lots of jumping for joy! All the dancing lady emojis!!!
I’m feeling pretty awesome about how once again hard work and determination accomplished my goals. To be really honest, I’m also kind of nervous about traveling for 8 days and not being able to keep such a tight grasp on what I’m eating, but I do understand the need to live a little, its just really soon to feel like I could actually undo the hard work so fast. Remember the beginning of this post? I can gain weight really, really fast! But at least now I know how to reverse it. As far as long term goes, I really like using the tracking app, especially for macros. I’ve started to notice that if I get a headache or feel sluggish, it’s almost always because I haven’t had enough fat that day. I will most likely keep tracking so I can maintain without fearing that I’ll keep loosing (I have gone board in the past and become too skinny, that and I want to fit in the clothes in my closet!). I also love my current workouts, so I’m sure if I need to dial it back or eat more, but that will have to be figured out. Right now, I’m just really happy that I was able to give up sugar (which will absolutely remain banned from my life, I have no control with moderation in that area) and show my uterus who the boss really is.