We’ve decided to get married…now we have to plan a wedding

Hi everyone, my name is Adam.  Hope ya’ll enjoy my thoughts on any of our subjects in a mans perspective.  I have recently asked Sierra to marry me.  The first topic/decision we ran into, was how big should our wedding be? This is my first marriage, Sierras second.  With that being said, I would like a big wedding, Sierra would like to elope.  I am all about my family, therefore I would like a big wedding.  Little did I know there are a million female rules to the whole wedding thing.  This is how I thought it worked, we invite friends and family, we tie the knot, we eat, we drink and we have a party.  No!  I was wrong.

The first thought we had was to just go to Italy with our parents and siblings.  Don’t throw the Italy card first people, the rest of your choices will seem terrible compared to this.  Nothing sounds as good as Italy! Sierra and I then tossed around many of different choices, we settled on New York.  New York is a very expensive and will give you a headache trying to plan your wedding there.  We dismissed New York a week into planning.  We settled on good ol’ Austin Texas. Now I’ve been asked to write up my guest list.  The list grew so fast, with only family on it.  Sierra and I combined our list, the tally was 130 people.  Big wedding!

Now I know what your all thinking, I totally sound like the girl in this situation.  Seeing as I am the one who wants the big wedding and all.  That’s just how I grew up, big weddings, surrounded by family.  with that being said, 3 nights ago Sierra proposed chopping the list to 32 people.  Ha, close family and us!  Let me til you the weight lifted off my shoulders when we downsized.  The big wedding sounded spectacular, but I’ve realized there are many better things we can do with our money.  So we compromised on an intimate small wedding and I couldn’t be happier.

~~~

Hey, Sierra here.  As Adam explained, we have been in a deep heated discussion since the day we became engaged about the size of the wedding.  True, I have been married before and had a big first wedding, and this is Adams first.  However, it means I also know the work planning a big wedding takes and as I own my own business, have no interest in.  Adam means well, but has the attention span of a gnat, so all of the planning was already falling on me and we had just begun.  The NY wedding idea was never mine, as being from NY, I have no desire to get married there.  I think we talked about that one for only two days. We did finally start planning a wedding of 130 and had agreed on The Blanton Museum in Austin.  But the thought of it made me miserable.  I need to mention that being in our 30’s, most of the expenses will fall on us and I think it would be better to spend less on a wedding and focus instead on buying a house. The big issue here though was the lack of compromise.  On one hand, I wanted to elope and on the other hand, Adam wanted a big wedding…and there we were planning a big wedding.

The other night after yet another argument over the whole thing, I threw down a new idea…what if we chopped the guest list, and had a super fancy, yet really small wedding.  The clincher was that we could have it at a venue which we both loved but is pretty small and we could still be very dressed up.  Both of us kind of stopped and thought about it.  Over the holidays we both had the same dreaded feeling that the guest list was going to grow, and that the amount of people in our lives who would feel slighted if not invited was going to cause an issue.  Realizing that what we both wanted was really just our immediate families sharing our vows and celebrating the day with us would be possible with the new idea.  I have to add that way up on Adam’s list of his dream wedding was have gorgeous photographs documenting the day (he hired the photographer before he proposed) so by having a fancy wedding at an awesome place with only the closest people to us made him really happy.  He already admitted that hes a bit of a girl about the whole wedding…you can see why now can’t you?  Like Adam mentioned though, it was like a weight lifted off our shoulders.  I’m fine with planning a scaled down event and Adam has the elements in the wedding he’s always dreamed of.

So here we are, starting the 2012 feeling lighter and happier with our compromised plan and very excited about the year ahead.

~Adam & Sierra

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